Hey everyone, your favorite Buckler is back! Totally joking, Christian is letting me use his blog for a class project. Hopefully you find me as entertaining as him!
Let me start by saying one thing: I’ve
always loved my dad, and I always will. This post is not meant to disparage him
in any way; it is merely meant to acknowledge both the differences and the constants
in our relationship since I moved away from our house and to college.
To
understand the differences, you must first understand my family and my
background. I grew up in the suburbs of Dallas with my mom, dad, brother, and
sister. I’m the oldest of the siblings; my younger brother is a senior in high school
this year and my younger sister is a freshman. As children, both my brother and
I were brought into the world of sports by my dad. He grew up the same way
despite his diminutive stature (he graduated high school a little over five
feet tall and right around 100 pounds), wrestling as well as playing football,
soccer, and baseball. Because of his passion for sports throughout his
childhood, he was able to convince me and Paul to play soccer when we were just
starting school. Although I’m positive he wouldn’t have been very happy had we
not wanted to play, we never had that issue. Both Paul and I excelled on our
respective teams because of our extensive practice. Rather than watch cartoons
like some of our friends, we begged our dad to take us to the park and play
soccer with us. Our dining room at home doubled as a soccer field with a small
rubber Fisher Price basketball, despite our mother’s insistence that something
would be broken (the chandelier lights frequently did, but she was usually
quick to forgive). Soccer soon gave way to basketball (also indoors on a Fisher
Price hoop, I should probably thank my mother after this), football, and
baseball. My dad joined in on almost everything we played, happy to have an
outlet in which to interact with us. It is through this outlet that I grew with
my brother and my dad. My family background is not defined by a love of sports,
but it can easily be described in such terms.
In high
school, the sports connection I had with my dad continued. He went to all of my
games (basketball, soccer, hockey, and track meets), frequently yelling
encouragement despite my objections. He ensured that I was a model student
athlete; attending all team events (mandatory and non) while remaining an
honors student. I was kicked out of a hockey practice once because of a
miscommunication with my coach, who thought I was playing with a puck when I
shouldn’t have been. I was adamant that I was in the right, to the point that I
was willing to skip the next day’s game because I didn’t want to apologize. My
dad informed me that there were no options; I was apologizing to both the coach
and my teammates for my behavior. While I rarely strayed this far from my dad’s
motto of leading by example, he put me back in my place when it was necessary.
Outside of
sports, however, our relationship was sometimes strained. As teenagers are wont
to do, I frequently spent entire days in my room with the door closed, watching
TV and spending hours online. My dad, the ultimate family man, hated it. His
idea of a family consisted of spending free time together whenever possible,
something my brother and I rarely wanted to do. Why would I want to watch a
marginal TV show or play a board game with them when I could watch hours of
YouTube videos or Scrubs marathons in the privacy of my room? My dad and I
frequently fought about what he described as my new “hermit” lifestyle. He was
much more strict than my mother (my siblings and I were always grateful when my
mom was the only one around to discipline us), who only became bothered when I
was in my room neglecting my chores. As the son of a military man, my dad grew
up in many different places. My Uncle Marty was actually born in Japan, to go
along with multiple others born in Canada and different areas around the United
States. He moved so much that his brothers and sisters had to be his best
friends, as he always had to leave his old friends behind. This is what (in my
opinion) led my dad to discourage our desire for endless independence. He
obviously wanted us to lead our own lives and above all be happy, but he
believed that our happiness depended on a close knit family. None of this is to
say that I resented my dad in high school. I loved him just as he loved me, and
we got along perfectly fine more often than not.
As I moved
on to my next chapter in life, I felt that I would begin to drift away from my
family and especially my dad. As high school valedictorian and a graduate of
Texas A&M with a 3.9 GPA, my mom was able to give me tips and helping
points to help succeed in college. As a student of only a few years of
community college, I wondered if my dad would think that we were growing apart.
Luckily, our relationship has only strengthened. I talk to him at least two or
three times a week, usually more. We talk about sports, school, work, and
family. My brother, who has made a living doing things at a far lower level
than he is capable of (a story for another day) is a frequent topic of
discussion. My dad has embraced TCU as if he went here himself, watching every
football game and talking smack to coworkers who graduated from Baylor or UT.
Golfing, a tradition that began late in high school, has bloomed into something
truly special for me. Because TCU is so close to home, I get the chance to
spend a day golfing with my dad (and sometimes brother) every few weeks.
As a freshman and sophomore, I was
only involved in Intramural sports at TCU. Therefore, my dad and I were only
able to discuss our golf outings and professional sports. After I joined TCU’s
reignited club ice hockey team, my dad returned to his hobby of being a youth
hockey fanatic. He asks me about the hockey team at least as often as he does
my classes, if not more. As grateful as I am to have hockey as an outlet in my
life again, I’m just as grateful to have another opportunity to have my dad
cheer for me.
This project was easy for me
because of the way two of my strongest values interact with each other. My
family is ultimately my greatest value, and our shared love of sports (and
really, any competition) is something that has made me the man I am today.
From left to right: my girlfriend Jordan, me, my dad, my friend David, and my sister Emily